I awoke this morning to the news from my balcony neighbours, that the ship now has its very own flasher as well as a permanent resident – though whether the two are related, I cannot confirm.
Not the sort of news that you want to wake up to when you have a woozy head from sampling the many proffered libations in the Gin Fizz Bar the previous night.
The thought of one of our precious octogenarian passengers flashing their bits to others in public was enough to make me want to stay within the comforting confinement of my suite. I mean, I have a bad enough time avoiding the mirror when I get out of the shower in the morning.
Today is a busy day aboard, starting with the crossing of the line ceremony, a time-honoured tradition when passengers aboard, who have not previously crossed the Equator, are initiated in a ceremony and transformed into ‘Shellbacks' by King Neptune and his ‘Queen' (usually the second officer in a wig and falsies). During the ceremony, I have definite plans to be at the other end of the ship. To finish off the day, the World Cruise Party is to be held – free booze and free caviar – I couldn't think of a better combination at sea.
Amongst the current spurious rumours doing the rounds on the ship: a fight in the laundry room, the presence aboard of an old movie star, the flasher and now another new one about the ship having its very own permanent resident could, on the face of it, be just another ship’s myth.
Previous Cunard ships had always been known for supporting permanent residents. The now retired QE2 was a positive floating petri dish of retirees permanently sailing around the world. Other ships from other fleets boast whole communities of these 'floating snowbirds’, but we were sadly lacking of our own. Until now that is, because this particular rumour I can confirm is true.
Dr Fred Blanchard joined the ship the previous year. After retiring from a life as an engineer and losing his wife the year before, he felt that his travelling days were not quite over. A story that seems to be common amongst this burgeoning community at sea. So he sold all of his worldly possessions and joined the ship’s complement for “as long as his funds would last." Fred is 90; fingers crossed that he will be here for some time yet.
The detailed costs he keeps sketchy, but he had worked out that based on retirement village rates, he is paying approximately the same amount that he would on land in an apartment staring out at the same boring tree, rather than travelling freely on the most beautiful ship in the world.
And who wouldn't do the same thing given the choice? He has been allocated his own permanent stateroom and is apparently welcome to bring a friend or family member aboard for as long as he likes, whenever he likes.
In his previous life, he wrote four books and is planning to write more about his adventures on the ship, currently collecting stories to fill his planned tomes. He was fascinated about the story of our supposed flasher, so I guess I can count him out of my list of suspects.
Fred’s biggest joy aboard, is the constantly changing complement of passengers because, as he says, with his early onset of dementia, he doesn't remember how long he has known his friends for, so they are all old friends. If he feels like getting off the ship for a wander around Cartagena or Durbin, then he can. If not, he’s happy to stay aboard and revel in the ship and each new view a different port brings.
Set under the canvas of the Pacific’s southern skies, Fred and I shared a drink with the cast and crew of the good ship Queen Victoria. Once again, in a sea of Champagne bubbles and caviar, the rumour of the flasher grows. It seems now everyone is talking about it, but no-one seems to know its veracity while our Captain appears to be tightlipped on the matter.
If it turns out to be false, I am going to be sadly disappointed. The ship loves a good story and fueled by 40% proof alcohol it has been providing an ample distraction from the world's problems.
I’m sure there’s more to be revealed over the coming days and, if not, I’m sure to read about it in one of Fred’s books. (ROSS THORBY)
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Published: August 2023