As I ‘mature’, I am more and more aware that it is the little things in life that bring joy and comfort to me.
Some of us struggle to find a bed to sleep in, shelter, warmth, food. So we differ on what these little things are in our day-to-day lives.
When I was younger, I chased the big things – the happy ever after fairy-tale marriage, fortune, big houses, luxe cars, fame. The fame part wasn’t really a big deal for me, although I wouldn’t have turned it away had it come knocking. I did fancy being a singer.
I pictured myself lounging on an ebony baby grand piano, smoking a pink Sobranie while belting out a sultry song or two to an enraptured, divinely dressed audience in a smokily lit club somewhere in New York, Paris or Berlin. Or side-by-side on stage with Chrissie Hynde singing Brass In Pocket.
A best-seller would have been good, too. All that travel to readers and writers’ festivals and chatting on-stage about ‘process’ and muses, the audience hanging off every witty word. Like I say, I was younger then and clearly had my head in the clouds and totally believed in fairy tales.
I achieved the big houses, luxe cars. I did smoke pink Sobranies. There was even a book tour all set to go until life got in the way and I couldn’t leave. I even recall lounging on a baby grand but there was no singing involved. The happy ever after fairy tale got cut short.
Are girls still being fed this myth? Not saying it doesn’t exist but, come on – princes? Apart from Meaghan’s and Kate’s. I guess they got lucky. Or did they…
The little things are what make life worthwhile, not the hankering after and running towards the big stuff. John Lennon was totally right: “Life’s what happens while you’re making other plans.” The earlier we learn to notice what is happening under our noses and not have our heads ‘over there’ or into next year, we can find contentment.
It’s not whether the houses are big or small, or a tent, or a shack. It’s what happens under those roofs. The kiss goodnight. The hand on your back as you fall asleep. Or, if alone, making like a starfish in bed and not fantasising about smothering someone’s snoring with your pillow. The sound of the front door opening and closing – child home safe. The cat taking up most of the bed. A weekend walk. A look and a smile. Picking veggies from the garden. Seeing the birds feasting in the plum-laden tree. Rain drops on the daisies in the lawn. Stopping to listen to the tui teasing the cat. Green tea in bed. A good book. The smell of a new book. Trailing your fingers through lavender bushes as you pass by and smelling them. A full tide. A low tide. Laughing.
Slightly burnt toast with miso paste on it. Perfectly ripe avocado with not a single brown spot. A teaspoon of peanut butter as you pass by the pantry. Seeing your fat, snow-white camellias in bloom as you walk up your path. Your path – weeds and all but especially the violets emerging between the bricks.
A walk on the beach listening to a friend rant about how her partner can’t stack the dishwasher, while you watch a gull swoop down after a sprat. Gentle waves tinkling over shells, sounding like angels laughing. Breathing in and out, slowly.
The smell of those first raindrops on dry asphalt. Floating islands on the horizon out at sea. “Hi Mum” on the other end of the phone. Laughing fit to burst at midnight over nothing with your bestie. Music. Words. Someone asking if you need to talk. Or a hug, or a hot water bottle. Oh, a hot water bottle with a hand-knitted cover from your nana that you’ve had since childhood. Memories of your nana and the time she made you green jelly. And you didn’t tell her you hated green jelly because you loved her more. The jet beads she used to wear that are now yours. The white dove that lands on my veranda from time to time when I need my mum. A friend cites swims, brushing her cat and her pj’s as her little joys.
All these little things we can hold in our hearts like a handful of precious gems. Warm and glowing.
These are what a life is. Gratitude for them is essential. Be thankful.
Kurt Vonnegut said: “Enjoy the little things in life because one day you will look back and realise they were the big things.”
(DEIRDRE THURSTON)
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