I’m the first one out of the gates to sometimes slight social media.
And why teens are troubled. Narcissism seems to be the order of the day. How many selfies one can post a week eating dessert or looking all ‘come hither’?
Recently, though, I witnessed firsthand just how magnificent social media platforms can be. Most of us have Facebook friends we haven’t met. Somehow they have ended up on our feeds and become FB pals. A few weeks ago, one of these people put up a post that was clearly a cry for help in an obscure way. The ‘black dog’ was dragging him down the cold, dark, bottomless abyss where there is no hope. Just oblivion and the end of suffering. Instantly the post went up, hundreds of people reached out. Friends living close by raced to his home to make sure he was safe.
As I read the messages pouring in, I was struck by how truly kind people can be; and how many suffer from ‘depression’. How we are prepared to give and give to those in need. Another thing that struck me was how many men responded in such a vulnerable manner. Sharing how they feel, offers of places to stay, offers of “hey, mate, let’s just talk about this.”
“I’m here for you. I’ve been there and I can help you.” These men opened their hearts and shared freely. Not one person said “harden up”. Which is what our Kiwi males have been want to do in the past. Certainly, they have felt that is what is expected. It still exists, that culture of ‘boys don’t cry’.
I cried at the poignancy of the depth of feeling poured out over the hour before we all heard the FB friend was safe and had friends with him. On they went, the messages of hope, the importance of holding on, reaching out. How his posts had brightened up lives; made people’s days better when they were edging towards that black hole.
When human beings are given the opportunity to care and help, they really want to. In this case, social media gave us the opportunity to band together and become like a full tide washing everyone’s heart-felt love over my FB friend’s soul. Which is what it’s all about – love. And love en masse is ‘awesome’. If only we could harness the strength of togetherness with its bounty and positive outcomes. Concentrate on others instead of ourselves. How we look, what we eat, what other’s think of us. The world and every one of us would benefit. Not only did my FB friend benefit from the love, hope, kindness, empathy and understanding given, we all did. I felt completely humbled by everyone’s reactions.
There is always one grinch. And that person who responded negatively, I felt tremendous pity for. I hope someone gives them a big hug to thaw the bitterness and anger in their heart.
The FB friend is back on track. Posting his marvellous posts that I eagerly wait for each day. It’s a lesson to us all, though. It is not just when we are at the edge of darkness, or plummeting head first into it, that we need friends’ help and love. It is especially when we are seemingly doing okay that we need support. Checking in with friends, even for a minute, can help keep the negative voices at bay. Especially to those who live alone. Alone is bliss, but not too much. Loneliness is death.
In my community recently, an ex-neighbour’s daughter was posted on the community page as missing. She had been gone too long, had no phone with her and suffers from epilepsy. Her parents were frantic with worry.
Immediately the community responded with offers of help. Almost every street was ablaze with torch light, people had their dogs sniffing around parks, torches flashed in car windows. Fast food outlets visited and staff questioned and shown her photo from the page site. Complete strangers braved a cold, wet night to help. The police helicopter combed the whole area within minutes of her being reported missing.
Luckily, she was found safe and sound. The community worked its magic in banding together in kindness.
I, for one, am grateful to live among those that will help, no questions asked. We simply have to reach out. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to do. Know that reaching out is not weak or needy. It is essential. Well done FB, well done my community. (DEIRDRE THURSTON)
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