Soon after yet another New Zealand athlete had won a medal and when the feelings of elation had subsided somewhat, I would on occasion take a quick check of the official medal table to see just where we stood in comparison to other countries; as the tally grew so did my pride, yet strangely so did an odd feeling of discontent – just how were we doing compared to other countries?
But as one of our champions, Dame Lisa Carrington suggested, it’s about more than the medals.
The quote, ‘Comparison is the Thief of Joy’ has been attributed to US President Theodore Roosevelt way back. We have always made comparisons with someone or something. Doing so has enabled us to have a greater understanding of ourselves. But it is perhaps even more relevant today. With social media playing such a large part in our lives, especially if we are young, we might be making comparisons too often, and that just could be leading us along a road more detriment to our health than in the past. When we compare our lives or achievements with someone else’s, those feelings of discomfort can creep in - more money, more popular, more friends. You know the drill. Compare and despair!
We might do it when we click on a posting in Facebook when everyone seems to be having such a good time in either an exotic location abroad or at a social gathering surrounded by uncountable happy faces while we are stuck in the humdrum of daily routine. We might click on ‘Like’ with genuine reaction or we might do so hesitatingly with mixed feelings.
And, if we are older, we might make comparisons between our own life chapters when we remember our younger days, comparing our past selves with our current selves when everything was fresh, exciting and carefree; recalling all those sweet times, achievements at work, promotions, arriving home after a night out high on life just as the birds were beginning their chorus in the early morning light.
We surely do it when we are exposed to statistics which compare our beloved country with those of our Australian cousins. Yes, sometimes they can make us feel gratitude and appreciation of ‘our lot’, but at other times they can dampen rather than lift our spirits.
A regular coffee friend, who incidentally is shorter than me but clearly more empathetic, perceptively pointed out the other day, making comparisons doesn’t have to undermine our happiness and lead to feelings of inadequacy or dissatisfaction, nor steal our joy. In fact, it can motivate us to improve ourselves and become an essential component of our ability to learn to do better.
Always comparing ourselves with others and allowing feelings of inadequacy and doubt to prevail is never going to help us find our individuality and claim our space. When we compare ourself to others or compare our past self with our present self, it is us who can end up discontent and in despair unless we focus on being grateful for what we have or seek to make further steps to improve our lot, if we choose to do so.
Success comes, as our Olympians have shown with their unique set of talents, when we use comparison as motivation to assess our progress and set new goals in order to improve our own performance and situation it can be a helpful tool, both personally, in sport as well as in business, and not as something that leads us to defeat.
Teddy Roosevelt might be right at times, but his words don’t have to lead to a forgone conclusion.
William Greig
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