With the Land of the Pharaoh behind us, we leave the Suez Canal and head into the Red Sea towards the Gulf of Aden.
This morning we had our first pirate drill for this trip. Everyone had to return to their staterooms (this is Cunard, they aren’t called cabins) then sit in the corridors (sorry, companionways) well away from any window. The theory being should a rocket launcher be fired at the ship it would have two walls and a door to go through before hitting us. Someone had really thought this through.
In fact, a number of years ago, off the coast of Mauritania, where a captain had been a bit dismissive of the dangerous coastline he was passing, a rocket launcher blasted a hole in the hull of his ship. Fortunately, the ship was sea-worthy enough to outrun the pursuing pirates and they headed out to sea with the corsairs in hot, but fruitless pursuit. These drills aren’t held for fun, they have serious undertones.
For this part of the voyage, we have our own security officer on board (Seco). He has 20 years’ naval experience and 10 years as a police officer. Fortunately, we are Cunard, so his normal duties onboard are pretty mundane, maybe a little cheating at Bridge or, at most, the occasional strong objection over an excessive bar tab in the Commodore Club. Seco’s duties mainly revolve around searching luggage for contraband and flagging down erratic and speeding wheelchairs around our normally serene decks.
But a word of warning, they don’t like bomb jokes onboard ship any more than they do on aeroplanes.
The excitement of marshalling our security detail through seas that were, until only recently, considered to be high risk, must be a welcome distraction. Of course, being British, our officers are experts at piracy – after all, England practically invented the occupation. Francis Drake was mugging the Spanish for their gold at the behest of Queen Elizabeth and enjoying the fruits of his profession just a little too much for some.
Maybe that is why the British Navy is one of the foremost experts in Maritime Security, but don’t forget the expertise of our resident team of Gurkha’s.
We always have a small team onboard this particular passage to back up Seco and his people, they are often women, and they are primed in the art of killing a man without breaking into a sweat. They might look fun but they are not to be trifled with. Speaking from experience – trust me.
We have also taken onboard two armed specialised security personnel. Marksmen, whose job at night is to protect both the port and starboard sides of the ship and, of course, the technology of the ‘LRADS’. A circular dish secured to the ship that emits a frequency of sound that can deafen a man at 300 paces and scramble his brain at 500.
Striding along the decks, our heroes constantly scan the horizon for interlopers such as fast speed boats that could possibly overtake us, throw grappling irons over our hull and invade the pool deck. All while avoiding the sun worshippers and those still agile and sober enough to play shuffleboard.
If they could get that close to the ship, they would also have to contend with a very low-tech defence. Razor wire.
It’s not pretty, but it is installed along the length of the ship. This stuff is sharp enough to cut the beard off a Taliban.
Fortunately, thanks to the efforts of the Multinational Coalition Task Force, the threat of piracy to cruise ships seems to be fading. Today, the few targets left to them seem to be the numerous oil tankers and cargo ships that visit these waters, but it is comforting to know that if you’re venturing into pirate waters, Cunard has your back. So, pass me another ‘Dead Pirates’ cocktail; yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum, I have a deck chair calling my name. (ROSS THORBY)
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11/2019